“Listening is a mindset and not a checklist of do’s and don’ts.” says Kate Murphy in “You are not listening!” book.

Before my coach journey, I do not think I was listening properly. I definitely was selectively listening. Nowadays, my whole perspective on listening has changed. 

Now, it has become a mindset. A mindset first and foremost, of curiosity! Listening is all about being interested in what the other person/s is sharing. You never know what lesson you can learn from the other person! 

The understanding that “what you know is different from what I know” is essential for effective listening and communication to occur. 

And besides, being listened to, the experience of being experienced, is very meaningful. We all crave to be witnessed and feel we matter.

Hence the best listening is when we are acknowledged – no matter if we do not agree with other people’s points of view but being able to acknowledge other people’s point of view is a good way to show we are listening, learning and growing.

Not only acknowledging people’s point of views but also emotions and responding in a thoughtful, engaging way shows our abilities to be a good listener.

When listening is at its best, it feels like a meditation: we are in flow; we are fully present; we do not worry what we say next – we notice the distractions and we let them pass and focus again on the other person. 

Listening is also a first step towards establishing connection and building rapport. A good practice here is to start with what things both have in common and then gradually build the rapport from there. 

Listening is fundamental for effective communication. There is so much more to listening and if you or your company would like to get some training on listening or coaching skills, please do reach out.