Listening as a Mindset! Listen, learn, grow!

“Listening is a mindset and not a checklist of do’s and don’ts.” says Kate Murphy in “You are not listening!” book.

Before my coach journey, I do not think I was listening properly. I definitely was selectively listening. Nowadays, my whole perspective on listening has changed. 

Now, it has become a mindset. A mindset first and foremost, of curiosity! Listening is all about being interested in what the other person/s is sharing. You never know what lesson you can learn from the other person! 

The understanding that “what you know is different from what I know” is essential for effective listening and communication to occur. 

And besides, being listened to, the experience of being experienced, is very meaningful. We all crave to be witnessed and feel we matter.

Hence the best listening is when we are acknowledged – no matter if we do not agree with other people’s points of view but being able to acknowledge other people’s point of view is a good way to show we are listening, learning and growing.

Not only acknowledging people’s point of views but also emotions and responding in a thoughtful, engaging way shows our abilities to be a good listener.

When listening is at its best, it feels like a meditation: we are in flow; we are fully present; we do not worry what we say next – we notice the distractions and we let them pass and focus again on the other person. 

Listening is also a first step towards establishing connection and building rapport. A good practice here is to start with what things both have in common and then gradually build the rapport from there. 

Listening is fundamental for effective communication. There is so much more to listening and if you or your company would like to get some training on listening or coaching skills, please do reach out.

Why do managers need coaching skills?

According to a Gallup research, “only about two in 10 managers intuitively understand how to engage employees, develop their strengths and set clear expectations through everyday conversations. In effect, only about two in 10 managers instinctively know how to coach”.

Acquiring a coaching leadership style means to practice and become skilled at emotional intelligence competencies such as self-awareness, empathy, curiosity, listening, acknowledging and developing others which go hand in hand with being a good leader. It is about considering leadership from “a mindset of a coach”.

How does coaching help YOU as a manager?

1. It helps you work easier but with a greater impact. How? You will build a team that is more self-sufficient and autonomous and create an environment where you do not need to jump in at all times, take over and become a bottleneck. 

2. Connecting with your employees, knowing what is meaningful and fulfilling for them, will create trust, greater impact and better performance, as well as happier employees and a better team spirit.

3. As a manager, you will gain more focus and time for redirecting your energy and resources to solving the challenges that make a difference.

I have developed a Course for Coaching Skills for Managers. If this has sparked your interest, please reach out to know more: hello@migenagjerazi.com or give me a call at +45 30823458.

How to have more engagement online?

Engagement when doing online events is even more paramount than offline. Our attention span seems to be even shorter and because sometimes the cameras are off, we, as participants, tend to do so many other things while we have the meeting/webinar/workshop online (myself guilty as charged).

Only in March/April, I have led around 30 hours of online workshops – these have taught me a thing or two 😉

How do you keep participants engaged?

1.       Theory should be limited to 3-5 minutes at a time – corresponding to a slide. Have something engaging for them – a question; an exercise; a prompt; a video; a poll. The idea is to vary the mediums often – so you keep the participants engaged. And there is a fine balance between being engaged and overwhelmed: find that balance. Continue point 2 😉

2.       Balance in my view means having an arch – and like an arch there is a start, culmination and closure. And a workshop online or offline is a compilation of small arches that contribute to the big Arch – that is the whole flow of the workshop. Pay attention to each part of theory/exercise – are they a complete arch in themselves? Is there flow between them? How well are they connecting with each other? Important to keep in mind the intensity flow – in other words the flow of energy. That is: it is not smart to put two meditation or visualizations close to one another – there needs to be high and low which comprise an arch. And the transition between these high and low energies should be smooth.

3.        Establish a clear frame of collaboration or agreements of endeavor. As much important as this is in all meetings/workshops, it is even more imperative when it comes to online where the nonverbal communication is lacking and the reading of the space is limited to one screen at a time. 

4.      Know your online platforms well: I use zoom and am quite happy with it – it gives so many opportunities for engagement: whiteboard; chat option; breakout rooms; annotate tool; changing the names of participants (good if you have an ice-breaker where they call themselves something different).

5.      Have participants move – as simple as that. After breaks or when you feel the energy is low, have some fun moving exercises: it can be dance, stretching or another one that I like is standing up and high-fiving your neighbor. It becomes a mess and it’s fun. 

There is more to come. I am learning every day and even though it demands more energy than offline workshops and not my favorite medium, I do see and like the possibilities that there are on online platforms.

Key point is: there is a way to make it work even online. Now, after the initial shock of the pandemic, online is the new “normal”, we have found ways to adapt and make the best of it.

All my workshops are online now. Check them out or contact me if you need a customized workshop for your organization or company.

I am devoted to helping young professionals step into their leadership and to supporting organizations develop, engage and retain their future leaders.